DAD

what can you do when someone you depend on is running from his responsibility??? this question is spinning in my head over a hours ago. well actually dad did this to mom so i can be pretend that my family is the happiest one. isn't because my parents relationship is not good but my dad decide to stay in his office because he barely can't stand my brother. the point that i'm trying to say is i feel really really sorry with my mom, she alone in this problem, no one to hear her problem not even me she choose to keep this alone than tell me, because she think this would burden of my mind (and she right i spend a lot tissue to cry), if my older brother doesn't tell me about this i would never know.

not stay in the same house with my mom, because he can't stand my brother can be used as the excused  to leave mom alone to fix this mess. i wish i was there and do something that would make mom feel better. now one thing left i really disapointed, may be this is the only word that i can say right now, i   can't say anything i'm speechless. how he have a heart to do something like this to mom? is not fair, omg how can he run from his respoinsibility to take care of his wife and child, because he can't stand the fact that his son is not like what he want. selfish, childish and so not responsible at all it is my describe for dad right now.

sometimes when i look back so many years ago, i realize that dad is so selfish, and mom is always try to fit it in dad instruction. i think my family is the happiest family, but is not like what i think. because they not have a big figtht with end mom crying behind the closed door, or they have an arguing with throwing anything doesn't mean their good, not at all. ok a little a arguing is normal for a family, isn't always going well right??? but can you imagine dad is good person he was nice, and then suddenly "poof" he's leaving??? honestly i can't accept that this not right dad not kind a person, ok he depressed and he need more time to think but why he had to stay out the house. he can take a holiday with mom if he so frustrate or they can talk, like they always do.

i have this thought once, why they have to be my parent??? and i really really regret that i ever thought about that, of course this is a stupid question we can't choose who's becoming our parent is a gift from god, some people have a happy family like i did once ( not now i think) and some people not so lucky to have this.

Thank god mom is the strongest one, when i called her last night she say she's okay, already eat she cooked for dinner and she playing game. and i smile she was good thanks god, my big bro he was there went mom have a difficult time and take care her, something that dad supposed to do

Crap start crying again i really wish that i was there with her.....

PS. mom i hope your not blaming yourself for anything happen especially went dad decide to live in the office, please believe everything is gonna be okay, and dad will come home soon, considerate that he have a business trip like he always do. i really love you with my whole heart until death. and i'm sorry if i ever letting you down.